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To the unaware I appear as a nice-yet-hardcore gamer fangirl, but in truth, I've a secret agenda. I have a reputation of gaming, designing, roleplaying, cybering, and drawing both cute & erotic art. *bow* I am programmed to serve and I aim to delight~


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Level 14 Artist
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It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Okay, I have to admit something. See, here's an issue I have; Perfectionistic Procrastination.
That is, if I don't feel I can complete something in that perfect way I imagined, I'll set it on the backburner until I feel I can. Oh the many projects I have back there~~~ And let me tell you, I think up SO MANY FREAKING THINGS, I just can't keep up, and sometimes I just dream too big! Le sigh~

Grr, and it was my New Year's resolution to let go of that hesitation of mine, and just finish art and share it as is. I did a bit of that here and there, but not on my NG account. And I'm sorry about that. I just care too much about getting my expressions out clear and giving it to you in good quality.

So! Here, I'm sharing with you today my sketchy attempts at a new entry for my 'Making Love With Silent Hill Monsters' series (and hopefully, it offers a peek into my creative process).

This split-faced monster who is tearing me apart; The Schism.
(from Silent Hill Homecoming)


What's hilarious is that this monster isn't key to Beata's storyline in my Silent Hill story, nor is he the most attractive monster to me, and yet he's been giving me all this fuss in trying to draw their encounter perfectly for more than a year! But ya know why? It's just because.. this monster has such an interesting design! 

Seriously, I can't say it enough; SH Homecoming had wonderful monster designs! You've seen me gush about the Needler, and analyze the Lurker, and even praised & defended Homecoming's Pyramid Head; but now, it's time for The Schism.
He's a creature who looks like a mix between a hammerhead shark and a pendulum blade, on top of a lean deformed male body. Furthermore, its head is split up the middle, in a vertical slit of a mouth, full of fangs and a long tongue. The symbolism behind this design mostly revolves around duality, or being of two minds, and yes, that does fit perfectly with the game's hidden theme. A theme of secrets and seperations, and being two-faced and even sort of hidden/split personalities. The Schism can certainly apply to several characters in the game, and even the town/cult, but especially Adam Shephard. (Actually, 4 of them are used to represent the Shephard Family in the Hell House level!). Even more interesting, you see how the face is split up in the perfect center? So you'd think its face is symmetrical. Actually no. The right half-blade is actually bigger and more curved. Okay, that one's easy to miss (even I did), but did you catch its right arm?? (Check out this model picture here)

The Schism's right arm is double jointed, or double-elbowed. And its hand is backwards, and more like a claw.
(More symbolism of its dual yet asymmetrical nature, whee!)
It certainly can add something to our interactions.That extra reach, the way he can just wrap that one arm entirely around me.. or like in drawing IV, he can touch or cover certain parts of me. (As thanks for covering him up, which I'll get to later.) I actually really like the poses of drawings II and III. It's more like an embrace. A dance. And I'm entirely swept up by his abnormal grasp and at his mercy. No really. I am. You did notice that blade, right? In game, that thing can instantly kill you if you fail the quick-time event to escape its hold; slicing you right in half! (GORY, btw)
It also reminds many gamers of the pendulum, the torture device which was used to evoke confessions from prisoners, torturing them with its looming swinging and promise of a gruesome death.

With that in mind, why would I feel drawn to the Schism? Well, not just for its monstrous side, but the man hidden inside. As mentioned, it has the body of a man, albeit pale, and deformed. While its form is slender, and its vagina-dentata mouth can symbolise gynophobia, but I still am entranced by its glimpses of masculinity.. and the fact that it has a certain key part, which all men have.... That's right, my fetish of penis worship (my fans know this about me by now) came into play here. But! Here's the strange thing. Unlike the Needler, he *does* seem to have male genitalia.. but for some reason, it's blocked off. Literally blacked out.


As you see in the image above, and this, his privates seem to be naturally censored out by a black box. Some say that maybe his area's really hairy. Some say that it's actually a split open women part. Some swear they've seen it dangle. But I stand by a couple of things; it looks solid, and in some pictures, you can see that it does stick out/off of the body. So it's not hair, and it's not a lady part. I go more for the idea some have agreed on, that his crotch is being covered/shielded/sheathed by either a black box or a metal covering.
Well~ Despite that boundry, my curiousity is piqued. As you might have noticed in my drawings I and IV, I'm interested in finding out for myself what lies underneath; and you know that if I find what I like, I'll be sure to soothe him in my very special way, so that his little covering won't be able to conceal his hidden flesh any more, and he can split me in his *own* special way~~~

So, what do you think of my MLWSHM Schism sketches? (^^;; Forgive that they're just mere simple pencil sketches, but hey, you should know that all my pre vious ones came from pencil sketches too.) Like what they're showing so far? They show not so much the "Making Love" part, I know, but more of before it; the submission, the interaction, the coming together of the two..
(Hmm.. Confessions.. Duality.. Would Beata have anything to confess? And with its dual nature, could the Schism also apply to her as much as Pyramid and Valtiel have?? .. Actually, the Schism could possibly be summoned by Beata after all!)

What do you think? Should I give the Schism an official MLWSHM sketch like the others? Should I use one of the sketched poses above, or create a new one? Hell, just reviewing these sketches made more ideas come to mind. Maybe I should do a pose that combines them all? Well, I'll surely make my own choice, but perhaps you guys have a thought to share about this. Which one(s) do you like more? Do any of them confuse you? Ask ^^ and I'll happily explain. (I've already typed up so much, I just can't explain them more here~)

To all my fans ^_^ Thank you so much for your following, and I hope you not only liked this post and its artwork, but that you have a lovely week~! ((Take care now!! <3))

Recent Game Medals

Grab Bag 5 Points Grab the bag! Medal Stats.
Labor Intensive 50 Points Do a total of 1000 actions. Medal Stats.
Master Chef 50 Points Try all the food items. Medal Stats.
Temper Tantrum 50 Points Discover 40 aggressive reactions. Medal Stats.
Bub Would Be Proud 100 Points Discover 30 advanced reactions. Medal Stats.
This And That 50 Points Try all the objects. Medal Stats.
Laid Back 50 Points Discover 40 passive reactions. Medal Stats.
I Know What You Like 25 Points Use 1 preferred item. Medal Stats.
Know How To Use It 25 Points Fully research 10 items. Medal Stats.
Star Pupil 50 Points Discover 5 advanced reactions. Medal Stats.

Total Medals Earned: 74 (From 13 different games.)